What is it like to date while non-monogamous and in a foreign country? I don't know yet, because I'm anxious. Here are some of the reasons why.
Though the Don was made with the intention of having a strong vibe for butts, that’s not how I’ve been using it (yet) and it’s versatile well beyond that. It can be used externally—for the clit, yes, but also for the testicles, perineum, nipples, and anywhere else you might want strong vibrations—and internally, both anally and vaginally.
Very few vibrators are anal safe; most do not have the flared base that makes them less likely to disappear into one’s rectum. A couple years ago, I recall someone live-tweeting their trip to the emergency room after a typical slimline vibrator disappeared into those dark depths. He was pretty matter-of-fact about it; it took about 5 hours for the battery to run out, and I can only imagine the relief.
Anal fun doesn’t need to be so dangerous. You can read one popular post of mine about Anal Eaze with some beginner’s tips and recommendations if you're looking for some guidance on that front.
Doxy is doing the good work by bringing us this rare breed of sex toy: it’s both anal safe and can be used for other things. Most of the other anal safe vibrators on the market are mostly shaped in such a way that they’re anal-only.
The Don is also unique because it takes the power of stronger, rumbly wand vibrators (like Doxy’s original product, the Doxy Wand), and brings it down in size, enabling one to use it internally. For those who like either g-spot or prostate stimulation, depending on how their anatomy is set up, I could see this being a great option, but only if they like intensity. This little vibe packs a punch.
Another design aspect that I love is having a remote control along the (very long!) power cord . This is especially great when being used anally, but it’s also great during other use: you don’t need to fumble around to find buttons on the toy itself, which can sometimes be awkward. The buttons on the remote are big, easy to find without looking, and light up so you can see clearly what is what. Power button, plus, and minus, straightforward and simple. Not always the most elegant solution, but one that works.
To put a spotlight on the cord: it’s LONG. One of the longest cords I’ve ever seen, easily snaked across the room if outlets aren’t near your bed or wherever else you’re playing. Mine also came with a velcro cord tie, which means it’s reusable both for storage and shortening the cord if needed. It’s the little thoughtful things that can sometimes make a huge difference; I wish more companies would include cord management, and I might have gotten really excited when I saw this addition.
While we’re talking about elegance, I will also say this: the Don is not graceful. It has nice lines, but it’s not svelte like some luxury vibes. It’s quite loud at higher levels. But the Don isn’t here to be beautiful: it’s here to aggressively and efficiently get you off. It can be more subtle at the lowest levels, but the high levels may very likely be too much for some. This vibe is not, by any sense of the word, discreet—and it’s not meant to be.
The Don, with it’s long cord, strong sensations and remote is, if anything, utilitarian. This is why I love it so much; it’s perfect to keep around for when you want to get off fast and dirty. It does the job.
Like it’s cousin the Doxy Wand and their predecessor the Hitachi *ahem* Magic Wand, the Don also has a lot of potential in kinky situations. Forced orgasms are definitely plausible at this strength, while for many the lowest setting won’t be enough unless you’re feeling more subtle that day. The remote, though close to the toy itself for convenience, can also be used by someone else to control how strong the toy is while someone is using it, or if it’s even on at all. The curve in the base of the Don lends itself easily, in my mind, to bondage. All you need is a devious mind and a bit of rope.
I cannot recommend the Don highly enough as a versatile addition to any collection. This lazy masturbator finds it indispensable, but it’s so much more than that.
Thanks to Doxy (North America Branch specifically) for providing this awesome product in exchange for my honest review! You should go check out their website here. If you're interested in purchasing a Don of your own, click this link or the banner below!
For the sake of transparency: many of the links in this post are affiliate links with my partner SheVibe. By clicking on them and then buying something, even if it isn't the product linked to, you'll be supporting my work with a percentage of the sale, at no cost to you. Pretty nifty, huh? If you want to make sure I get my fair share, clear your cache and cookies before clicking the link. Here's a how-to if you've never done that before!
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When I left the country—my first big international trip since becoming an adult, the first time I’d ever flown alone—there were many considerations. Putting aside the major considerations such as abandoning my sublease and storing most of my things, finding places to stay between giving up my apartment and hopefully having the money needed to buy my ticket in time, I had other not-insignificant considerations. One of those was which of my prolific sex toy collection to bring along.
The person I was going to see and I had had little experience using toys together. I have also historically shied away from using toys with others due to the unfailing—if waning—sexual shame I had been raised with. I was uncomfortable in my body, uncomfortable expressing sexual desire, uncomfortable even having desire or pleasure in front of others. I’m still working through these issues, almost four years into writing about sex online. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, but many are incredulous that I of all people should still be grappling with shame. Believe me, friends: it’s a lifelong journey of untangling, especially when one doesn’t have the insurance or the money to attend therapy. There is nothing wrong with those of us who continue to struggle with these deeply engrained philosophies. Perhaps a longer blogpost on that thought line soon?
I knew I wanted to bring some toys with me and try and break through that shame, and I knew my beau may be interested in trying them out; he had a “let’s try whatever” attitude. With this and some parameters in mind, I set about determining the most ideal spread. For my second trip abroad this spring to summer, only two items from my original curation were present: my ever trusty Southern Butter travel tins, and the NobEssence Fling.
I chose the Fling for a variety of reasons, the original time around: I knew I wanted to carry my sex toys in my carry-on. I didn’t want anything too phallic, as I had no desire to have to explain things to the TSA—though friends of mine have done this with little issue. Being wood, the fling is much lighter in comparison to similarly-designed products, which are more often metal or glass. Though wood could of course break, I felt more secure with wood than with glass, and metal was too heavy. It’s also gorgeously shaped, ergonomic for use either by yourself or a partner, and perk: it’s gorgeous. My first trip, I was staying at my beau’s mom’s house. For this reason, I also knew I didn’t want something that would catch the eye or seem out of place if it was accidentally left on the nightstand.
The fling fit my needs better than anything else in my collection. It didn’t add unnecessary weight to my already heavy shoulder bag, it didn’t attract suspicion, it looked beautiful, and it was the ideal toy for use with a partner when neither had much experience with partnered toy use.
The Fling is comfortable. Smooth curves, uniquely placed hold for fingers to slip through enabling it to be gripped from a variety of angles, in a variety of positions, without hurting even arthritic hands (mine) as readily as most other penetrating toys would. As with any curved toy, there’s some incident of “hooking” the pelvic bone—especially when you or your partner is first using it—but it’s easy enough to remedy that if you don’t like the sensation. The “point” of the toy is round and large enough to not be uncomfortable, even for those just starting to explore what kind of sensations they prefer. The holding point is more intuitive to wield than most other toys, whether the beloved Pure Wand or the base of any dildo, allowing for the person using it to move fluidly.
‘Fluid’ is a fantastic word for the Fling, both to describe the motion of use, the flowing curves of the wood, and the potential product of its use.
I generally recommend the Nobessence for people who like a luxury product, something beautiful to look at, but the Fling has merit beyond mere aesthetic. The material is well suited to people who don’t like the cold of metal or glass but do like the firmness, and a lightness that’s ideal for people who travel or people who have hand or joint pain. It’s unique shape and thoughtful design make it ideal for both partnered and solo use. If these are things you’ve been searching for, I definitely recommend the splurge of this or any other Nobessence toy.
Click here or any of the images or links above to buy a Fling of your own.
If you’re looking for something similar, nothing will really compare to the Fling but here are some options that are similar but different from SheVibe. Click any of the images to go learn more.
Like the idea of wooden toys but want a different shape? Not to worry! Nobessence makes a variety of products in different shapes, sizes, and kind of wood. All are 100% sterilizable, non-toxic, non-porous, and body safe. Did I mention beautiful?
want the lightness, but not wood?
There are very few solid materials that are also light; wood is slightly more common but if you look hard enough, you can find some aluminum options like these from Crowned Jewels:
Just want the curve?
Glass and metal will also provide a firm, smooth curve that's perfect for hitting various spots. Here are a selection of some of my most recommended:
Note on affiliate links
All of the links, in text and images, are affiliate links to my affiliate partner SheVibe, who graciously sent me the Fling free of charge in exchange for my honest opinion. By using my affiliate link, a percentage of any sale made after you click that link will go to me, and helps support my work and keep this site up and running. If you want to make sure I receive the full benefit of your use of my affiliate links, please clear your browser's cache and cookies before clicking on the link--it's win-win, with you getting fun stuff and me getting paid for the work I put into this site.