When I left the country—my first big international trip since becoming an adult, the first time I’d ever flown alone—there were many considerations. Putting aside the major considerations such as abandoning my sublease and storing most of my things, finding places to stay between giving up my apartment and hopefully having the money needed to buy my ticket in time, I had other not-insignificant considerations. One of those was which of my prolific sex toy collection to bring along.
The person I was going to see and I had had little experience using toys together. I have also historically shied away from using toys with others due to the unfailing—if waning—sexual shame I had been raised with. I was uncomfortable in my body, uncomfortable expressing sexual desire, uncomfortable even having desire or pleasure in front of others. I’m still working through these issues, almost four years into writing about sex online. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, but many are incredulous that I of all people should still be grappling with shame. Believe me, friends: it’s a lifelong journey of untangling, especially when one doesn’t have the insurance or the money to attend therapy. There is nothing wrong with those of us who continue to struggle with these deeply engrained philosophies. Perhaps a longer blogpost on that thought line soon?
I knew I wanted to bring some toys with me and try and break through that shame, and I knew my beau may be interested in trying them out; he had a “let’s try whatever” attitude. With this and some parameters in mind, I set about determining the most ideal spread. For my second trip abroad this spring to summer, only two items from my original curation were present: my ever trusty Southern Butter travel tins, and the NobEssence Fling.
I chose the Fling for a variety of reasons, the original time around: I knew I wanted to carry my sex toys in my carry-on. I didn’t want anything too phallic, as I had no desire to have to explain things to the TSA—though friends of mine have done this with little issue. Being wood, the fling is much lighter in comparison to similarly-designed products, which are more often metal or glass. Though wood could of course break, I felt more secure with wood than with glass, and metal was too heavy. It’s also gorgeously shaped, ergonomic for use either by yourself or a partner, and perk: it’s gorgeous. My first trip, I was staying at my beau’s mom’s house. For this reason, I also knew I didn’t want something that would catch the eye or seem out of place if it was accidentally left on the nightstand.
The fling fit my needs better than anything else in my collection. It didn’t add unnecessary weight to my already heavy shoulder bag, it didn’t attract suspicion, it looked beautiful, and it was the ideal toy for use with a partner when neither had much experience with partnered toy use.
The Fling is comfortable. Smooth curves, uniquely placed hold for fingers to slip through enabling it to be gripped from a variety of angles, in a variety of positions, without hurting even arthritic hands (mine) as readily as most other penetrating toys would. As with any curved toy, there’s some incident of “hooking” the pelvic bone—especially when you or your partner is first using it—but it’s easy enough to remedy that if you don’t like the sensation. The “point” of the toy is round and large enough to not be uncomfortable, even for those just starting to explore what kind of sensations they prefer. The holding point is more intuitive to wield than most other toys, whether the beloved Pure Wand or the base of any dildo, allowing for the person using it to move fluidly.
‘Fluid’ is a fantastic word for the Fling, both to describe the motion of use, the flowing curves of the wood, and the potential product of its use.
I generally recommend the Nobessence for people who like a luxury product, something beautiful to look at, but the Fling has merit beyond mere aesthetic. The material is well suited to people who don’t like the cold of metal or glass but do like the firmness, and a lightness that’s ideal for people who travel or people who have hand or joint pain. It’s unique shape and thoughtful design make it ideal for both partnered and solo use. If these are things you’ve been searching for, I definitely recommend the splurge of this or any other Nobessence toy.
Click here or any of the images or links above to buy a Fling of your own.
If you’re looking for something similar, nothing will really compare to the Fling but here are some options that are similar but different from SheVibe. Click any of the images to go learn more.
Like the idea of wooden toys but want a different shape? Not to worry! Nobessence makes a variety of products in different shapes, sizes, and kind of wood. All are 100% sterilizable, non-toxic, non-porous, and body safe. Did I mention beautiful?
want the lightness, but not wood?
There are very few solid materials that are also light; wood is slightly more common but if you look hard enough, you can find some aluminum options like these from Crowned Jewels:
Just want the curve?
Glass and metal will also provide a firm, smooth curve that's perfect for hitting various spots. Here are a selection of some of my most recommended:
Note on affiliate links
All of the links, in text and images, are affiliate links to my affiliate partner SheVibe, who graciously sent me the Fling free of charge in exchange for my honest opinion. By using my affiliate link, a percentage of any sale made after you click that link will go to me, and helps support my work and keep this site up and running. If you want to make sure I receive the full benefit of your use of my affiliate links, please clear your browser's cache and cookies before clicking on the link--it's win-win, with you getting fun stuff and me getting paid for the work I put into this site.