Sponsored Post: All The Reasons I'm Anxious About Asking People On Dates As A Non-Monogamous Person In A Foreign Country

They will say no. 

They will say that they like me and want to go on a date, but don't understand non-monogamy and don't want to try. 

They are someone both I and my partner know and asking them will make it weird. 

We'll go on a date and it'll be spectacular: we have an amazing night, they understand non-monogamy without me having to explain, they ask me about my partner without awkwardness or jealousy, and everything is amazing. Afterward, I'll find out that they are somehow related to drama in a community I'm part of that will complicate my social life enough to the point that I won't want to continue seeing them. 

I'll really click with them, but they're unfamiliar with non-monogamy and despite acute discomfort and jealousy on their part, they won't tell me and they'll end up resenting me for it while I think everything is fine. 

They'll think I'm only interested in hook-ups. 

I will get lost on my way to the date due to my ineptitude with the public transit system which is almost entirely in a language that I barely understand, and they'll think I stood them up and stop responding to me. 

They're really great and we have an amazing time, but it will require a large amount of emotional labor and educating for them to understand my lifestyle and philosophies, which are not common in this country. 

We'll have a really good time, everything will be wonderful, we'll go on to continue to date and even designate titles for our relationship, but they'll be secretly terrible to my partner behind my back in a way that I won't notice or my partner won't want to communicate, and it will ruin my relationship with both of them in the end. 

I'll become invested in the relationship, but then my primary partner and I will want to move to a different country, and they won't.

They will think I want to marry them. 

They will talk about having children on the first date, or ever. 

The only thing they want to talk to me about on the date is something I'm deeply disinterested in, but I'll find them otherwise attractive so I'll try to be interested, but ultimately I won't be being true to myself and find myself miserable by the end of the date. 

We'll have a really good time but they'll never respond to any of my messages, despite telling me they want to see me again. The reasons this could have happened will haunt my anxious brain until the end of my days. 

I'll go on a date with them and not be into it, but they'll be really into it and continue messaging me on WhatsApp to pressure me on another date even after I've said politely that I'm disinterested. 

They will want to do a sport or other physical activity on the date, but will somehow fail to mention this until the date, and I'll be coerced into something I'm physically incapable of doing due to chronic illness. They'll keep telling me that it "won't be so bad if I just give it a try." 

I'll be too anxious to have a good time on the date, despite the other person being really amazing, and I'll ruin all chances of future dates despite being interested. 

They will be wonderful, but I won't speak their first language well enough and they won't speak my first language well enough and it will make it too difficult to continue, and I'll feel bad about it for months afterward. 

I will look really good on my date, and then spill something on my dress during dinner and be too anxious about it to continue, and they'll think I'm uptight and never respond to my messages for a second date. 

I have a really good time and continue to see them to the point of becoming invested in the relationship, but when I introduce them to my partner, they hate each other. 

I will wear something slightly formal that looks amazing on me, and they came in a t-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. I spot them from a distance, realize my outfit is inappropriate for the occasion, and turn around, messaging them that "something came up." We never speak again. 

They will date me and everything will be great, but they'll say terrible things about me behind my back and ruin my reputation in my already small friend-group. 

Javelins will rain from the sky. 

There will be lipstick on my teeth for the duration of the date, but no one will tell me. 

Something will happen and my partner will need me to come home due to an emergency, but they'll think that I'm just making an excuse to get away from the date, even though I really was having a good time. I'll never hear from them again despite numerous attempts to convince them that I want a second date; they'll think I'm just being polite. 

We'll go on a date and everything will be perfect, we'll go on to be "steady" and after more than a year, I'll find out that they were trying that whole time to get me to leave my partner because they can't handle non-monogamy. 

They'll want to move in. 

Thanks to my sponsor for giving me the opportunity to write something funny and light. Inspiration thanks to this New Yorker article, which you should read